ugly truth.

how do i start? :) i was dating with a nice man ive known through a friend - we've been together for almost 3 years.. during those years, i HAVE NEVER seen other guy or even have the intention.. until i got the job last year.. it was introduced the job by his dad actually. that makes it worst -_- a week after i moved to the new office, i was assigned to this place for the jabatan's karnival. i missed this man so much! he was so busy going there and here, i only got to see him the day before i participated the carnival. only 1 hour indeed :(

the next day, i went to the place - and without a warning, i saw this guy. which for me, attract me nothing the first i saw him. that evening, he approached me, which CHANGED everything. i fall for him. seriously for God's sake. i dun even know how it happened. but i started liking him. im in love with two guys at the same time. my bf dont have a clue at all. suddenly, 3 months secretly dating with the other guy, the truth was out! it hurts me really2 bad. and i know how hurt they were but i cannot choose. they make me choose but i cant. i dont have the gut. i love them. and i cant imagine my life without them. my family was seriously hates me for cheat him. bitch, is a common word for me ever since.

so me and the old guy - officially broke up.

and continue with the new guy i met.

worst to worst - our family get involved. i was actually really close with his family. his mom is the best! she even gave me elaun, gift and send me to work. oh God, i miss her :( their money wasnt my priority! i have never wants the money! all i want is the love from him. but i repay him otherwise. sucks. his sister even called me 'material minded bitch'.. i never wants the money. seriously.

and i love the new guy indeed so deeply. he cares for me. but my family hates him sooooooo much! i cannot do anything. they even make me choose over them. how can i not choose my family? they're my everything! and the new guy sacrifices so many thing already -just for me - i cannot simply reject him. i love him :(

and i miss my ex bf.

i dunno what to do.